Butcher, Baker, Candlestick Maker

June 14th, 2010

My daughter is starting preschool this fall. That’s a post unto itself, but what I am worrying over today is one of the unexpected side effects of her starting school. The grownups. We attended the school picnic meet and greet where we, well, met and greeted a whole new bunch of parents. These parents were all really lovely people. Great people. People I was interested in talking to! They all had interesting careers. Wildlife Biologist. Architect. Lawyer. Blacksmith. Business Consultant. Teacher. You get the idea. I found myself beginning to dread the and what do you do? question.

What do I do? The easy answer is that I am home with the girls. And that’s what I tell people, because its true and its the easy answer. But internally this causes me some conflict. Because what do I do? and the even more dreaded follow up – what did you do? Because honestly I’ve never been able to really figure that out. I never had an answer that has stuck to the what do I want to do question. And with my eldest staring school, the ominous what will you do looms ever closer. I want to be proud of my accomplishments, I want to be a strong, intelligent, successful rolemodel for my girls. I want to be someone, to have a title, a place in the world.

I remember a few years ago when I was in massage school. I was talking to a good friend who was at the time a landscaper. We were commiserating with each others struggles to find a career, a life path or even a job that fit our criteria. For both of us, the criteria to varying degrees was this:

1. we had to have a passion for the work
2. it had to be financially sustainable for our families
3. it had to not contribute to The Problem

The Problem, aka The Man. You see, if we couldn’t save the world, we at least wanted to live and work in a way that wasn’t harmful. But you see this is much easier said than done. Our whole system is set to doomsday, it seems. If I looked deeply enough I could find the harm in most anything that interested me. Whether it was  moral, ethical, political, environmental, or health related, there was little that didn’t cause someone, somewhere, harm.

So here I am, stumbling along, borrowing the title of conscietious objector. Its not really a career, not even a job, but it does keep me busy. I’m just trying to reclaim my autonomy, my accountability. Objecting to the  status quo by opting out of the system was the only solution I could find. I am still all talk on the big issues. Our house is plugged into the grid, most of our food comes from the store, we still own a car. But we’re working at it, one step at a time. Saying no, reclaiming what we can.

So this is what I do:

• Buy only organic, no matter the cost.
• Buy local, as much as possible. This means no peaches in January, people. Come on.
• Eat only real food. No preservatives, no colors, flavorings, no GMO, no HFCS, no Splenda.
• We are vegetarians
• Be conscientious in eliminating plastic – no plastic shopping bags, choose the non packaged option, no single serve beverages etc. This is not easy, but is can be done.
• We only have one small, gas efficient car, and we use it as little as possible. Walk, bus, ride, clump trips, go without, maintain your vehicle. Save up for another option.
• Cloth diapers
• Cloth wipes
• Line dry clothing
• No disposable anything in the house
• Diva cup
• Grow a vegetable garden
• Raise chickens
• Buy second hand whenever possible
• be water efficient in the kitchen, bathroom and garden
• Rain barrels
• Opt into our power companies alternative energy program. We pay more for our power, but it comes from sustainable sources and the extra cost reminds us how precious power is. We try to use it sparingly.
• Our outdoor lights are solar!
• Bare minimum in cosmetics, lotions, potions and the like. Mostly homemade.
• Homemade deodorant, shampoo, cleasner and toner. (no, I’m not stinky)
• Alternative Medicine whenever possible

There’s more, but you get the idea. The big one really is to stop consuming. Think before you buy and all that. I believe in this. I believe that life should be lived, not consumed. I believe we can be happy, healthy, comfortable, fulfilled and fed without buying into Wall Street Consumer Heaven. I don’t believe opting out sentences us to a life of poverty, self denial and struggle. I believe I am happy caring for my girls and teaching them how to live lightly in the world. How to share beyond the playroom. How to be citizens of the Earth, defined by their humanity not their geographic, political, socio-economic, or ethnic associations. You would think by listening to me I am a self righteous eco-snob. Judging all you disposable diaper-ers out there. But I’m not . I recognize this all for what it is, what is just my stumbly-fumbly way to find my place in the world. To find something to define myself by, in the absence of a title like doctor, lawyer, architect.

What do you do to keep the evil at bay in your life?  Do you have a real job, and if not, what do you tell the other parents?